improvement

G'day!

Well my back continues to give me problems. For a solid week it was really bad...couldn't stand up straight, I walked all bent funny, and i had to sleep on the couch for about 8 days because it hurt to much to lay flat on a bed. I went to the doctor and he gave me a a drug cocktail to help with the pain and muscle spasming and they did a bit but not nearly enough to make things ok. So he has referred me to the only neurosurgeon here in town who is really good but who is backed up till September 2008. He is currently looking at my referral and hopefully will deem me important enough to see on an emergency basis. One bright spot though was right after i found out that getting into the neurosurgeon would be a struggle, we had a pretty hardcore prayer session for my back and the whole situation. The next day I was noticeably better. I didn't have to bend over so much when I walked and i was able to sleep in my bed for the first time in over a week. It has been 4 days since then and every day seems a bit better. I still cannot stand up for more than a few minutes without having a fair amount of pain but when i'm laying down or sitting I do not feel any pain at all. I am not even taking my pain medication anymore.

I'll be honest and tell you that prayer is still not an easy thing in my life and i doubt the effectiveness more than my fair share. It is something that does not come easy for me. But on the other hand i am quite certain that this is where God has called me to be and that I am where he wants me . He did so much to get me through the back surgery before and he got me here in an incredible fashion. I knew that he would not do all that just for me to turn around and go back home to deal with more back stuff. So we prayed for physical healing as well as just a breaking off of anything spiritual that was trying to interfere with God's plan in my life. About 5 people prayed for me and it was really good and fairly intense. Afterwards, I did not feel anything suddenly shifting back in place or anything else miraculous but as I was going to bed that night i decided to try laying down on my bed. I ended up sleeping in my bed for the first time in over a week. the next day suddenly i could stand up almost straight. while i am still not pain free i have seen improvement everyday and can point to the day of improvement being wednesday. the day i was prayed for.

While I am convinced that God is good and does not cause anything bad to happen...I am also convinced that God can take the bad (that he does not cause) and use it to find good. for instance, I do not believe that God has caused my back to hurt, in fact i believe it is not his will at all, but is it not possible that he could strengthen my faith through it anyways? could he not use this opportunity to show aspects of his goodness that i might not otherwise be aware of? if we went through our entire life without pain, without struggles, without seemingly hopeless situations, and without confusion....how could we ever tell anyone else of what God has done in our lives? I am learning that God allows us to go through certain things not only so we can learn about the love of God on a personal level but also so that we can use our knowledge of who God is to tell other people. aren't the "best" testimonies of God's provision always found in the testimonies of those who have suffered the most? i read last year of a missionary who had both legs from the knee down pulverized with a sledgehammer so he could not escape the prison he was in....only to hear God tell him a few days later to walk out anyways and so he just got up and walked from the middle of the prison all the way out through the open gates of the prison and got into a taxi! when he tells someone about God do you think he means it when he tells of God's provision, his strength, his faithfulness, and his love? How much stronger is his faith now?

I am learning that God loves us. I am learning that he cares what happens to us. I am also learning that his ways are often so much higher than what i can see. I am learning that the harder things get the more i need to run to God and not away from him. Because with Him i cannot lose. I might have pain and suffering and confusion...but i will not lose.


wow...that just kinda came spilling out. maybe that was for me to get out. maybe someone else needs to hear that too.... I don't know. but there it is.

in other news, even though i am not at a hundred percent somehow the base manages to keep on rollin! haha! a team just left to go back to Thailand to work with the prostitutes and in the slums for a few weeks. we have another two more teams leaving this week...one to travel around queensland (Australia) and the other heads to the island of Vanuatu. each team will be in their locations for 2 months and the Vanuatu team will be taking youthstreet out of Australia for the first time! the goal is get youthstreet set up internationally and this is the first time it's leaving our borders! it's very exciting. so the ministry is rolling along and things are getting done. God continues to do his thing and use us in the process!

Talk to you all soon!

Aaron